My experience of playing with groups of people is that they become closer. Friendships blossom and deepen, or appear where none were before. People who thought they had nothing in common magically feel closer, they have a deeper understanding and tolerance of one another’s differences.

How can this be?

Playing seems to be so simple and yet it has such massive effects.

At its simplest level, having fun together can create great bonds.
Essentially, much of playing is exploration; people who make discoveries together share something quite special, which brings them closer together.

Collaboration in an uncompetitive atmosphere of acceptance happens rarely but brings out the best in people; they see one another in a new light.

This is different from the bonds created in a team which plays to win and can be harder to articulate but exists nonetheless.

The bonds of trust and laughter, created when someone lets their guard down for the first time and throws their head back to laugh deeply can be very powerful and lasting.

The intensity of play is often overlooked since playing is something done only by children. But the focus brought by children to their play is actually a state of concentration many of us adults would find enviable.

Sharing this intensity can be as significant as sharing intimacy.

In the play workshops I run I discourage participants from chatting, talking about their 'everyday life'.

It’s not until we learn to talk that we learn to cover up what's really going on (and by talk I mean quite a sophisticated level of language development, any cover up requires considerable planning and strategy beyond small children).

 

Without complex linear language our communications become naked and honest.
It’s this honesty that can create the strength of the bonds developed at play.
The almost wordless communication that begins to take place within this atmosphere of deep focussing is like a shared secret.

This makes a play workshop sound like a heavy emotional place but the atmosphere is usually light and filled with laughter, often highly productive.

The lack of talk becomes a lack of the need for talk which somehow enhances our ability to collaborate. Like children, no one needs to know each others name, role or status. This freedom somehow creates a safety to be ourselves. Seeing and recognising one another as our true unguarded selves is deep and powerful, but doesn’t have to be spoken about.

It simply is.

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